


spiral in the springtime

by words_unravel



Category: Panic At The Disco, The Young Veins
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-16
Updated: 2010-03-16
Packaged: 2017-10-08 01:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/words_unravel/pseuds/words_unravel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Spencer's taken care of Ryan for so long that he doesn't really know how to turn it off.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	spiral in the springtime

**Author's Note:**

> [**Prompt:** [2lineschallenge](http://community.livejournal.com/2lineschallenge) 2007]  
> [**Beta:** _audreysrev_ &amp; _universeunfold_]
> 
> _i've watched you fly on paper wings halfway around the world  
> until they burned up in the atmosphere and sent you spiraling down_  
> -rise against, _paper wings_

The thing about Ryan Ross is, that no matter how a relationship ends and the subsequent songs written in thinly veiled (if at all) metaphors about hookers and ugliness, he's an incurable romantic. Spencer's been there for the pre-show - the poems and bracelets, the three hour phone calls sprawled across Spencer's bed while Spencer toiled away at his english/math/history homework, trying not to gag too loudly.

So, yeah, Spencer knows Ryan's moves, the way he acts and thinks when he likes someone. Spencer can practically call each step before it happens.

But up until now, it's just been girls. So it's not entirely his fault he almost didn't recognize this crush, for lack of a better term, that Ryan has on Jon. He's fairly sure that _Ryan_ doesn't even know yet.

Once Spencer notices, he can't _un-notice_ and it's always there. In the way that Ryan constantly vies for Jon's attention, the way he asks Jon's advice on a recent set of lyrics he's written (normally, Ryan won't let another soul look until he thinks he has them where he wants them), the way he tilts his head when he speaks to Jon, and the way he leans into Jon when they're standing together. Spencer knows the signs.

**

He tried talking to Ryan about it. Once. Ryan just looked up at him with that stupid wide-eyed expression he has and asked him to pass the pipe.

Spencer can admit it probably wasn't the best time to bring it up.

**

He's been standing in the doorway of the back lounge, watching the two of them on the couch for a while now. Neither have noticed him yet, their heads bent together. Ryan's looking up at Jon, almost coy. Jon's eyes are crinkled at the corners and Spencer kind of just wants to yell at both of them.

Neither of them are truly aware of the rules to this game and Spencer just feels wildly out of his depth, even with all the experience of being Ryan's best friend has given him. Sometimes he wishes Haley hadn't left, she was always so much better at this shit than him.

He doesn't notice Brendon until a chin digs into his shoulder, the slide of a smooth cheek against his own bearded one, "What'cha doing, Spence?"

The words are soft, disturbing nothing but Spencer's own thoughts. He just shakes his head in response, doesn't want to voice his worries. As if they won't be true if they aren't brought out into the open. After a moment, arms slide around his belly and when Spencer makes no move to shake him off, Brendon moves in closer, until he's a line of warmth at Spencer's back. The only sound that follows is the quiet murmur of Ryan and Jon's voices across the room and Brendon's breath exhaled past his cheek.

They stand there in silence for a few minutes, watching, until Brendon's arms tighten and give a gentle tug backwards, "Come on, Smith, " another pull, "let's leave the lovebirds alone."

Spencer's body tenses and he knows Brendon can feel it with the way he's pressed in close. There's a bit of terror screaming through him now, with the thought that Ryan had been obvious enough for Brendon to notice. But that's one of the things about Brendon that Spencer forgets, how much Brendon sees, really, in the midst of his own noise.

"Brendon-" His voice is tight, the strain evident and Brendon slides soft lips against his cheek before he whispers, "Ryan's a big boy now, Spencer Smith, let him figure it out." He takes a small step back, trying to pull Spencer with him again.

He wants to argue, wants to yell at Brendon too - _Don't you remember, Brendon? You're the one who had to sing all his words, his heartbreak and anger, for him. Don't you _remember_?_ \- which is stupid. Of course Brendon remembers, but he wasn't _there_ for the beginning, and Spencer's taken care of Ryan for so long that he doesn't really know how to turn it off.

Brendon stops pulling at Spencer, just stands at his back and Spencer can feel the heat of his breath through the material at his shoulder. Now he wants to apologize even though he hasn't done anything, didn't say the words that were screaming through his head.

"You trust Jon, " the words are sure, confident, although still quiet, and Spencer half-turns, about to spout out a frustrated _Of course I do, but what's that got to do with anything?_ when Brendon's arms squeeze so hard Spencer can't breathe.

"Then _trust_ Jon, Spence." He can almost here the _Trust me_ that goes unspoken. And just like that, Spencer gets it.

 

This time, when Brendon pulls him back towards the bunks, Spencer follows.

**Author's Note:**

> [posted in main journal [here](http://prettykitty-aya.livejournal.com/160752.html) on 02/08/08]  
> [x-posted [here](http://community.livejournal.com/2lineschallenge/19577.html) and [here](http://community.livejournal.com/bandslashmania/403593.html) on 02/08/08]


End file.
